Sunday, April 27, 2003

Surf's Up! (in the bathroom)03:59 PM CST (Link)
OK, I'll admit it. I'm a gadget geek. I've been in love with gadgets all my life. The latest loves are small machines that store all sorts of information that I used to keep in my brain, a notebook, or a purse, briefcase, or backpack -- dates, contacts, notes, stories and ebooks, TV schedules, shopping lists, passwords.

Windows CE, Pocket-Sized PC, Pocket PC, Palm, TrueSync -- I've tried them all. Somewhere along the line I settled on Palm devices -- mostly because they were MUCH cheaper and smaller than their Windows equivalents.

I'm on my ninth in approximately six years -- a sweet little Handspring Treo 90. It's everything I want in a PDA -- small (one of the smallest on the market), color screen, GREAT battery life, thumbboard instead of Graffiti input, 16 MB RAM plus a MMC/SD expansion slot for extra storage. Its tiny size lets it fits easily into my lifestyle. I just slip it into a jean pocket or my backpack and off we go, me and my other brain. (Unfortunately, Handspring recently discontinued the Treo 90 in favor of just making wireless devices for the cell phone market. Bummer.)

This weekend, however, I flirted with a Wi-Fi wireless PDA. I actually bought one on Friday -- the brand new, just-announced Palm Tungsten C. It was beautiful. The high-res screen was large and very bright. Its 400 MHz processor meant it was FAST. Unfortunately, it was also significantly larger than my Treo.

It was easy to configure and picked up my wireless router right away. Of course, I was only two feet away from the router when I was configuring it.

Right after I got the wireless signal configured, I found I had to perform a bathroom-related function, so I took the Tungsten C with me to continue checking out its features. What do you know, I got a signal on the throne. That's right. I could surf in the bathroom. Of course, the bathroom is only about 10 feet from the router.

It was late by the time I finished installing and configuring everything. (I keep a LOT of stuff on my PDA.) So, I ended up taking it to bed with me. Whhops. The 50 feet to the bedroom did it in. It could *barely* get a signal. And when I shut the door, it died. Oh well, I said to myself, I didn't really buy it to surf in bed. That's why I bought my iBook.

The next day, after a lazy morning sleeping in, we decided to go to Borders. Mel wanted a book and I wanted to test their T-Mobile Hotspot.

Hotspot? More like an iceberg. I couldn't get a signal anywhere in the bookstore. Either their router was down or my PDA wasn't up to snuff. Based on the bedroom experience, I would put money on the PDA.

I couldn't justify $500 just for the ability to surf while peeing and it really was too large for my taste, so back it went. An SD wireless card is supposed to be out sometime in June for about $150. Maybe I'll try it with my little Treo.

In the meantime, I guess I'll go back to reading magazines while indisposed.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Free Computer Recycling10:02 AM CST (Link)
Dell Computer Corp. and the National Cristina Foundation, in conjunction with the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality, the Recycling Alliance of Texas, and Austin ParksFest are offering a free technology recycling day, Sunday, April 27, at Auditorium Shores parking lot beneath the Drake/1st Street Bridge. The event coincides with Austin's Earth Day celebration.

Central Texas area residents are invited to empty their closets and garages of unwanted computers, monitors, printers and other computer peripherals. The event's goal is to make donation and recycling of computer equipment easy and affordable for consumers while putting refurbished technology in the hands of Central Texas area children and adults who cannot afford new technology. Drop off is free. Usable equipment will be cleaned and donated to local Central Texas area charities. Recycling of all other accepted materials is free of charge to consumers.

ACCEPTED items include any brand of computer-related equipment, computers, computer monitors, keyboards, mice, printers and other peripherals. Please remove all data from your computer's hard drive and any removable media such as floppy disks or PC cards. The event will NOT ACCEPT televisions, copiers, cell phones or other household electronics unrelated to your computer.

Sunday, April 27, 2003
11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Auditorium Shores parking lot
Underneath the S. 1st Street/Drake Bridge
Enter the parking lot from Riverside Drive just west of S. 1st Street.
Drop off your computer, park your car at the state garage at 4th and Colorado and take a Capital Metro shuttle back to the Earth Day Expo.

For more information and maps please visit www.dell.com/recyclingtour.

If you cannot make it on April 27, you can visit Dell's online computer recycling and donating option at www.dell4me.com/recycling.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Eggstra Special11:24 PM CST (Link)
Who says Easter Egg Hunts are for kids? I recently read a lament about how Easter Egg Hunts are for kids only and someone should create an Easter Egg Hunt for adults. Heck, we’ve been doing it for years.

In our combined family, everyone hunts eggs--kids, adults, teens, cats, dogs. No exceptions. This year the hunt is at Mel's older sister’s house. It's a great yard for hiding eggs--it backs up to a creek and there are lots of nooks, crannies, rocks, and knickknacks to hide things in, around, and under.

Mel and I usually are the egg-hiders. I love hiding the eggs. It's always a challenge to find just the right spot for the golden egg. The goal is to make sure the golden egg is the last egg found and we've been successful more times than not.

The trick is to hide it well, but still leave a tiny bit of gold peaking out. One year, we stuck it inside a watering can filled with water. The egg floated *just* under the lip, so that if you looked in at the correct angle, you could see it, but if you just glanced at it, you couldn't.

We have 101 eggs filled and ready to go, including the golden egg. Prizes in the little plastic eggs range from tiny toys to more practical things such as key rings. This year, we worked hard to find trinkets for all ages. We even found some things our male participants might like, such as pocket-sized levels and small clamps. Our goal was no candy, since none of us need any. We succeeded. Almost. We have eggsactly one egg filled with candy.

We have two prizes--one for the golden egg and one for the most eggs found. If you think kids are eager to hunt eggs, you should see the adults. There's practically a stampede out the door and once the kids are old enough to hunt for themselves, there's no quarter given.

My mother, usually a mild-mannered first-grade teacher, is merciless. As we go through the countdown, she gets that wild-eyed look Bub gets when he’s about to pounce on something. I wonder what's going to happen this year, now that her two-year-old grandson (and our nephew) Nathan is old enough to participate.

Next year, the hunt will be at our house. If you're lucky, you might get an invitation.

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Milers!10:44 PM CST (Link)
We did it!

We broke the mile barrier. I know that doesn't seem like much to most people, but it's a Big Deal for me. Especially since every step hurt. I'm sure Mel could have gone past a mile a long time ago. I'll admit it; I'm the one keeping us back. But we decided last weekend that this is the week we would go the distance.

We walked the mile in 22 minutes. That's not as bad as I thought we would do. So I'm doubly pleased. I guess the next goal is to just keep it up for a while.

Woohoo!

Tuesday, April 8, 2003

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes06:12 PM CST (Link)
The picture on the television was grainy and choppy.

Smoke rose from the rubble--the domed top of the bombed-out Capitol Building in Washington D.C. now just an empty shell. Pennsylvania Avenue was full dirty, uniformed invaders, cheering at their victory. After more than a decade of rule by the Republican guard, the states are now free, according to reports from foreign journalists.

The soldiers marched through the streets unopposed. Former Republican soldiers and minor politicians hid their guns, uniforms, and bureaucratic suits and melted into the crowd. Americans, not knowing whether to welcome the invaders or spit on them, stood by silently as columns of victorious soldiers trooped by.

You could read their minds through their stone faces. Most wanted a return to the normalcy that preceded the dictator’s "inauguration" so many years ago. But they didn’t expect it. They feared even to hope for it. Not years after interpretations of the Patriot Act stripped so many of them of their so-called Constitutional rights--the right to free speech, the right to privacy, the right to speedy, fair trials.

America's masses cheered these changes, which the Republican regime carefully couched in the name of patriotism and national security. Daunted by the prospect of losing their seats in Congress because of an unpopular vote, Doormat Democrats let the Republicans steamroll through these attacks on American civil liberties.

By the time the mobs realized what had happened, it was too late. Many protesters languished in jails around the country, not charged with any crime. The poor got poorer and the rich got richer off tax cuts and the elimination of public services. The Republican guard had established itself firmly in American society.

A reporter said the scene was repeating itself in every state around the country, as puppet governors were removed and executed or jailed, and provisional governments set in place.

The broadcast cut back to hometown news. In Austin, Texas, Congress Avenue was bumper-to-bumper, not with morning rush-hour traffic, but with tanks and soldiers. On Town Lake below, swans paddled serenely in the smoky, early morning light, unaware of the sea change.

The Texas capital was one of the first to fall. Invaders came in from the Gulf of Mexico and marched up the coastal plains to the gateway of the Hill Country.

While Texas once again was the largest state in the union, the battle for Austin was largely a symbolic victory. The former dictator first rose to power in this cowboy state. (Alaska and Hawaii seceded soon after he took office, stacked Congress and the Supreme Court with like-minded cronies, and started repealing state and individual rights.)

The fate of the dictator was unknown. The reporter said that intelligence sources thought he was at his rural Texas ranch with his war planners and elite Secret Service bodyguards. But bunker-buster bombs dropped on his compound yesterday rendered it a mere hole in the ground. Soldiers were searching through the ruins today. Some pundits have said that, if any remains are found, only DNA testing will be able to tell for certain whether he was there.

The invaders pronounced Operation American Freedom a success.

Thursday, April 3, 2003

Pumping Pussy and Busting Balls11:28 PM CST (Link)
Mel and I are going to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow to walk, to prepare ourselves for the start of the Most Dreaded Time of the Year -- Daylight Savings Time on Sunday. Why? I’m wondering that myself. It was Mel’s idea.

Anyway, we’re doing pretty good with our leg muscles because of the walking, but we need to start working on our upper body strength and agility. One of my ideas involves juggling. I’ve always wanted to juggle, but have never been able to find balls small enough for my little hands. A friend at work is a juggler and I plan to ask him if he knows where I can get some. Small balls, that is.*

One of the problems of juggling is the inevitable dropping of the balls. To combat that problem, I’ve come up with an idea worthy of my would-be-inventor dad.

Get a Hula Hoop and cover it with cloth. Cut a hole in the middle big enough to go around your waist. Sew suspenders on it. Step into the hole in the middle, put on the suspenders, and voila! A ball skirt. Now you can practice all you want without losing your balls. They drop into the skirt, where you can easily pick them up without losing a beat.

The other idea I had involved our kids. Tiamo weighs 7 lbs. Bub weighs 14. Scrappy tops out at a big 19 lbs. Instead of signing up for a gym, why not pump pussies? Start with Tiamo to warm up. Grab Bub for a heavier workout and finish with a couple of power reps with Scrappy.

We all benefit. Mel and I build muscle mass and the kids get the hands-on contact time they crave. Brilliant, if I do say so myself.

-------------------
*Mel just read through this entry and said, "You’re a lesbian. You’ve got no business handling small balls."
Technically, Tiamo isn’t a cat, but she likes to think she is.

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