Women in Comfortable Shoes

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12/11/2003: "Charity Begins on the Street"

I gave a bum a buck the other day. Just one measley dollar. But what that dollar represents is the beginning of a really big change of heart for me.

From the day I brought the Miata home last August, I realized that, due to its open nature, I would have to modify some of my deeply ingrained driving behaviors, such as hastily flipping people off when they did something I didn't like. Plus, I've had to practice more elaborate eye-contact avoidance techniques from street-corner beggars.

I always felt better if I couldn't see the homeless person on the corner. So, I would hang back or inch up just enough so that a portion of my car or the car in front of me blocked my line of vision. If I can't see them, then they can't see me. I become invisible.

At least that's what our cat, Bub, thinks when hides his head under the sheets and the rest of his big rear-end hangs out for everyone to see. He is always surprised when Mel finds him and throws him out of the bedroom before we go to sleep.

I was lamenting my new-found visibility over dinner with Mel's family one night and I was talking smack, such as whether I should carry a bat or big flashlight with me for protection, when Mel's younger sister stopped me cold.

"Or you could just give them a dollar," she said.

I could just give them a dollar. I wouldn't have to practice avoidance. I could look them in the eye and say hello or good morning or whatever. I wouldn't have to ostrich while waiting on the light to change.

I could just give them a dollar. What an idea.

Now, before you go yelling about "feeding the bums just encourages them" and such, just think about all those dollars fatcat big businessmen squeeze out of us. A dollar fee here, a dollar fee there. It adds up. Would I rather have some multimillionaire sock away my dollar in his bloated bank account or would I rather give it to someone who actually needs it?

Yes, they take turns standing at corners. Yes, I've seen groups of them switching off. But really, it's not easy work. I certainly wouldn't want to stand out in the heat, rain, or cold for hours at a time. Yes, they might drink it or smoke it. But you know what? We waste money, too, on things we shouldn't eat, drink, smoke, or buy.

Something else I've learned over the years--this time from Mel--is that you should give someone a gift with no strings attached. If you give someone money or a gift certificate, you shouldn't restrict what they buy. It's easier on everyone.

The day after the conversation with Mel's sister, I stocked the car with a few dollar bills. Last week, everything lined up just right to provide the first chance to start my de-Grinching.

I do have a few self-imposed rules, though. I won't hold up traffic or create a dangerous situation for me or the person involved and I won't give to the same person twice, unlesss there are extenuating circumstances. Also, I won't give if there is a very obvious scam going on, such as those weirdos who dress up as nurses and go out in traffic to collect money.

I gave a bum a buck the other day. It felt good. I'll do it again, too, when opportunity holds up its "Need Help" sign.