Women in Comfortable Shoes

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04/03/2003: "Pumping Pussy and Busting Balls"

Mel and I are going to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow to walk, to prepare ourselves for the start of the Most Dreaded Time of the Year -- Daylight Savings Time on Sunday. Why? I’m wondering that myself. It was Mel’s idea.

Anyway, we’re doing pretty good with our leg muscles because of the walking, but we need to start working on our upper body strength and agility. One of my ideas involves juggling. I’ve always wanted to juggle, but have never been able to find balls small enough for my little hands. A friend at work is a juggler and I plan to ask him if he knows where I can get some. Small balls, that is.*

One of the problems of juggling is the inevitable dropping of the balls. To combat that problem, I’ve come up with an idea worthy of my would-be-inventor dad.

Get a Hula Hoop and cover it with cloth. Cut a hole in the middle big enough to go around your waist. Sew suspenders on it. Step into the hole in the middle, put on the suspenders, and voila! A ball skirt. Now you can practice all you want without losing your balls. They drop into the skirt, where you can easily pick them up without losing a beat.

The other idea I had involved our kids. Tiamo weighs 7 lbs. Bub weighs 14. Scrappy tops out at a big 19 lbs. Instead of signing up for a gym, why not pump pussies? Start with Tiamo to warm up. Grab Bub for a heavier workout and finish with a couple of power reps with Scrappy.

We all benefit. Mel and I build muscle mass and the kids get the hands-on contact time they crave. Brilliant, if I do say so myself.

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*Mel just read through this entry and said, "You’re a lesbian. You’ve got no business handling small balls."
Technically, Tiamo isn’t a cat, but she likes to think she is.

Posted by timbrat @ 04/06/2003 11:34 PM CST