Archive for December, 2003

Christmas has always been one of those holidays that I love. Not because of the gifts or the food, but because frequently someone in the family does something odd, nutty, or goofy that subsequently becomes part of the family lore.

For instance, one year, old Aunt Cecilia, my grandmother’s aunt, gave us all a very special gift. Aunt Ceil, as we called her, spent the night with us because we were to take her to the airport in the morning, so she could visit her daughter and grandchildren in Illinois.

Aunt Ceil was frugal to a fault. (OK, she was cheap.) She arrived at our house looking and smelling worse than someone from a homeless shelter. She wore layer upon layer of mothball-odored clothing, just so she wouldn’t have to pack them. Her old brown suitcase was held together with quite a bit of duct tape and looked like a refugee from a garage sale. (Knowing Aunt Ceil, it probably was.) She had also stuffed $1,000 cash down her bra.

No amount of persuasion could get her to wear only one set of clothing or to put the money in a safer spot. (Then again, maybe that was the safest spot!) I’m glad I wasn’t the poor person who had to sit next to her on the plane.

We also had to convince her that carrying a hand gun onto the plane was not a good idea. Even back then, carrying weapons onto a plane would land anyone in jail, little old ladies included.

Before she left for the airport the next morning, she lined up five purple envelopes on the counter–one for each of us. She wrote our each of our names on them and told us not to open them until she had gone, because there was a surprise inside.

Later that day, after making sure Aunt Ceil got on the plane safely and without being arrested on vagrancy or illegal weapons charges, we opened the envelopes in turn. Each had a $5 bill. We were quite amused at her, uh, generosity.

My turn was last. I opened the envelope and looked inside, expecting a $5 bill. Aunt Ceil was right. There definitely was a surprise inside. Absolutely nothing. The envelope was empty.

I laughed until I cried and then laughed some more. I know it was an oversight, because we had always been on the best of terms, but I never mentioned it to her. I still have that envelope somewhere. It was the best gift I got that year. It made me laugh.